Soliciting...

Admin Gal recognizes that the world is turning, companies are struggling to drum up new business.  She receives dozens of cold calls during week of products that will better the bottom line, provide outsourcing services that will save the company and make us heroes (not), or have the next best widget in the universe.

What Admin Gal sincerely dislikes are sales people who call with the sole intention of annoying her.  Aside from their actual existence, no sales person should annoy Admin Gal or any other person on her staff.

Today's winner in the 'Uber Annoyance' category is a repeat caller.  This individual sole goal was/is/will be to speak directly with my boss.  I have indicated numerous times our specific process for handling these requests. After repeating the instructions three separate times in one conversation, Admin Gal asked the individual to repeat back what had been said.  What did the individual do?  'I can't tell you specifics, only Mr. XXXX.'

ARRRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!

No reference to the instructions Admin Gal had given were acknowledged.  Finally, Admin Gal said (in clear and concise language), "Do not call back.  We are not interested."

Admin Gal is positive there will be another call in approximately 3 weeks.

Gary Fields does NOT Work Here!

Admin Gal has been bedeviled since she started her job by calls for a mysterious 'Gary Fields'.  All the callers have had heavy Bronx accents.  They would request Mr. Fields, Admin Gal would say 'Who?', then they would hang up, never allowing her the opportunity to let them know that the gentleman in question was not an employee.

The frustrating part was they were calling my direct number, their numbers were blocked. And at month's end, their calls were a plague of locust on Admin Gal's existence.

Flash forward four years later and the calls have become a trickle. Admin Gal can always tell when the desperate sales guys have brushed off the old lists.

You would think that after four years of being told the man doesn't work here, people would get the hint.

Admin Gal is Annoyed...

by the machinations of persistent sales people.  Honestly, you'd think after giving them clear and precise directions of how your company accepts their information, they would be grateful.

Instead, Admin Gal finds herself besieged by the peppering calls of salespeople who are hoping and praying that the boss will pick up the phone on a number he doesn't recognize.  

Seriously? 

Were these people born in the cabbage patch?

Admin Gal's job is simple, get the information, direct it to the correct person and get on with her day. Sales people have become the static that you can't drown out of the stereo system.

Spammit!

Admin Gal hates it when she requests information from a vendor, only to find herself on there mailing list forever. That was not the initial request.

Usually the request was initiated due to a phone call on the part of the vendor.

Admin Gal is not fond of spam.  The kind found in cans, nor the kind found in her inbox.  Her simple recourse is to set up a filter to trash everything she doesn't recognize.

If the next best thing since sliced bread is passed up?  You shouldn't have added me to your mailing list without my permission.

Sales Call Fail #2

Admin Gal:  Thank you for calling ABC Company, how may I assist you?
Persistent Sales Guy: I'm calling for Mr. X.
Admin Gal: Whom may I say is calling?
Persistent Sales Guy:  He knows who I am, it is on a need to know basis.
Dear readers, after uncurling her fingers from her cracked telephone receiver Admin Gal replies.
Admin Gal: I need to know as I let Mr. X know who is calling.
Persistent Sales Guy: No, you don't. You are only the admin.
CLICK!
oops!

A Perfect Day

Every time Admin Gal picks up the telephone, there is a potential customer on the other end of the line.

Admin Gal knows that she regularly vents her spleen about sales calls.  Heaven knows that she has had her fair share of that persistent, oblivious breed who can't understand why I won't give them the time of day. Because, isn't it obvious their product can save the company, the world, the UNIVERSE?!?!?!?!!

Then there are those gems that make your day.  Those shining stars that leave you feeling like you've made a friend.  Whether their product was right for your company or not.

A discourse is had between two adults, determining needs and goals. In the end opportunities happen, maybe not in the original intent, but an opportunity.  A conversation between professionals.

Those are the moments that make a day perfect.

A Word of Advice

Sales people, when you call:

1. Do not claim to have called Admin Gal's boss when she is CLEARLY the person who answers the phone.
2. Do not claim to have had a prior conversation.
3. Do not cut Admin Gal off when she is trying to gather information to help you possibly get to the correct person.
4. Do not lie.

Last but not least, when Admin Gal calls you place of business to give pointers to you about how you might be more successful, DO NOT have your receptionist lie about your employment status there.  

If these simple, yet effective, suggestions can be followed you might have success in your business endeavors.

Phishing

It's bad enough Admin Gal has to deal with Sales people who give the profession a bad name.  She knows there are plenty of good ones in the sea.  But it chaps her behind when a company invokes the name of two other companies in order to phish for information.

Admin Gal just had the misfortune of a call from 'Jack', I didn't know that there were many 'Jack's' in India, who said he was from FEDEX who said he had a package for my boss.  It's one thing to confirm the address.  The tell is when the 'Jack' in question starts confirming rank and position with the company.  What does that have to do with the package?

Admin Gal detests liars.

The phishing expedition was very disappointing for 'Jack', but entertaining for us.

Sales Hijinks

Dear Readers,
One more tidbit before Year's End.  Admin Gal received a call from her IT rep.

Much to her surprise, a request had been called in to start a 'free, no-obligation' trial of a gadget for a warehouse inventory system.  Admin Gal had submitted no such request nor would she

Admin Gal was NOT AMUSED!!!!!

In a calm voice, she asked the vendor name and the date of the request.  She flipped through her trusty calendar,  Admin Gal located the offending sales call.

You see, Admin Gal has a habit of jotting down numbers, names, companies and notes on sales calls. Particularly on calls that are annoying.

The details of the call came flooding back.  The offer of a free trial had been offered and roundly refused.  The scheming sales person had gone behind Admin Gal's back and submitted a request in her name to implement the trial of his equipment.

Admin Gal's first reaction was unprintable.  Needless to say, an investigation is underway.

Admin Gal as a lot of influence.  But to order the trial of expensive equipment is not one of them.  This vendor is on the DO NOT DO BUSINESS WITH list.  Thanks to this person's ingenuity.

When the answer is 'no', it does not mean maybe.

Dear Potential Vendor,

We here at ABC, Inc. realize that times are difficult.  That you are shaking every tree for any possible business opportunity.  Let us make a few points clear:

1. Yes, our terms our non-negotiable.
2. When we ask for X amount in liability insurance on your part, we mean it.  This is not a suggestion but an expectation of doing business.
3. Yes, we do follow the governmental safety and quality standards as put forth by said agencies.
4. Just because you went to school with the cousin of the sister-in-law of the CEO's estranged brother, will not automatically get you a coveted vendor slot.
5. We have a prohibitively strict gift policy - NO GIFTS.
6. Calling me everyday for 3 months will only make me annoyed.  
7. Sending multiple emails a day, makes you SPAM.
8. Sometimes, the answer is simply - NO.

Thank you for considering doing business with ABC, Inc.

Sincerely,

Admin Gal

Horrible Sales People Hall of Fame

Dear Sales People of the Business-verse,

I recognize that you have a job to do.  Really, I do.  But lying to the admin is a poor way to start any business relationship. We always remember the first impression and are not afraid to share our view point with our bosses.

A few words of wisdom if you want to speak with my boss:

1. Just because you get the Admin doesn't mean you need to hang up.  I write the number down and remember the rudeness.
2. My job is to screen calls, directing you to the RIGHT person.  More than likely, my boss is not the person you need to speak with. If you would give me a moment of your time, I could get you to someone you'd have a chance with.
3. Breathing heavily and hanging up will only get you mocked. Really, you have no idea the amusement you provide when you do that.
4. Implying that I'm lying, lazy, stupid, or deficient in anyway WILL get you blacklisted with in my company.  I make lists and make sure they are published.  I also make calls to your company and talk to your managers, expressing my unhappiness with your conduct.
5. Politeness will open doors, kindness will get you a conversation.

I have met some genuinely delightful sales people who have listened to me, therefore getting a coveted conversation with the appropriate person in my organization.

I have also met some truly despicable people who will forever reside in the Horrible Sales People Hall of Fame.  Not a place anyone wants to be.

Sincerely,

The Admin

How RUDE!

Earning an income is a simple equation:
Work x Application = Income
This isn't rocket science (unless of course you are a rocket scientist, then it's a whole other ball of wax).
Admin Gal has an ax to grind with Sales People.
Admin Gal gets the fact that sales people need to make a living.  If they are respectful of her, she will do what she can to get them to the right people to open a dialog.  No, sales people do NOT need to speak to the top of the totem pole at the first swing.  Let me get you to the correct person.
DO NOT call incessantly hoping, beyond hope, to catch Admin Gal's boss on the phone when she is 'off duty'.  It isn't going to happen.

A - Admin Gal's boss won't pick up a number he doesn't recognize.

B - Breathing heavy then hanging up is just plain RUDE.

C - Just do what Admin Gal has asked you to do.

Oh NO He Didn't

Gentle Reader, here is an authentic conversation had during Admin Gal’s very hectic busy day.  Admin Gal would like to point out the numerous egregious errors of this sales person.

Admin Gal: “Thank you for calling XXXXX.  How may I help you?”

India Sales Guy: "Hello, I'm looking for the CIO of your company XXXXXX? Can you direct me you him?"

Admin Gal: “I’m sorry we have no XXXXX in the company directory.”

India Sales Guy: “Can you tell me who the CIO is?” (Strike #1)

Admin Gal: “No”

India Sales Guy: “Why not?”

Admin Gal: “Did your even research my company?”

India Sales Guy: “No. Does that matter?” (Strike #2)

Admin Gal (completely flummoxed by the lack of preparedness and sheer lack of survival skills of this sales person): “Of course it matters, I’m not paid to do your job.  Please research my company.”

The intrepid Admin Gall then ends the call, annoyed but already on to other things.
15 minutes later, the phone rings.  Admin Gal is unable to answer the phone because she has someone at her cubicle.  She picks up the call she let go to voice mail after her visitors left.

India Sales Guy: “I’ve done my research, the CIO is XXXXX.” CLICK (Strike #3)

Admin Gal stares at her telephone in disbelief.
Another 15 minutes, the phone rings again.  Admin Gal picks up.

Admin Gal: “Thank you for calling XXXX. How may I help you?”

India Sales Guy: “I’ve done my research, the CIO is XXXXX.”CLICK

India Sales Guy STILL got the CIO name wrong, called Admin Gal back THREE times internationally in order to prove himself right.

Could India Sales Guy prove his childishness anymore.  All she needed was a face with  the fingers wiggling in the ears and the tongue sticking out.

However, Admin Gal did get his company name.

Who has the last laugh?

Sales Professionals

Everyday, I am inundated with sales pitches for various widgets, dowickies, and thingamabobs that are guaranteed to save the company, better the work environment, cure the common cold, and even make gold out of paperclips.  Yes, the world is their oyster, if I'd only put them in contact with the right person in my organization.

No, I will not put you in contact with my boss. That's why they pay me the big bucks!
Please don't think that I'm deaf if you are in a call center and you represent yourself as a director of sales of anything.  I'm not stupid.

A note to the sales professional.  Do your research.  Go to the web site, look around. I'm not going to do your job for you.

I get the best and the worst on my end of the telephone.  For every ten annoying calls, I get a gem that makes me grateful for those moments.

But as to the rest?  Fie on them!  I liken them to an infestation of rodents that are invading my workspace. Over, under, and around they attack I must be ever vigilant.

The Voice

I am a terrifying person.

With the sound of my sweet dulcet tones, I stun telephone people speechless and they hang-up their phones without uttering a word. Plants wither and decompose. Famine strikes and entire economies crumble.

This is a power that must be used wisely and with great care. I wouldn’t want to accidentally stun the wrong person. Hmmmm let’s say, My Boss.

I have to give people credit for their persistence. Come on people, I’m paid to answer my boss’ telephone. He doesn’t pick-up numbers he doesn’t recognize. I get that privilege.
No matter how many times you call, he won’t pick up! Talk to me and you might, just might have a snowball’s chance of making an impression.

Otherwise, I will continue to wield my weapon of mass destruction. My voice.

Dragon at the Gate

So, part of my job is to screen calls.  I have an understanding of the calls that my boss really needs to get and the call that will potentially benefit business.  BUT, I really don't have time for arrogant sales people who think that I don't have a brain cell to think with.
My boss trusts me to get his messages to him.  If the message needs to be routed to another party, I will do so.  Don't lie to me, don't try to get around me, don't try to intimidate me.  I remember these things and it won' t go well for you the next time you call.  I keep notes on people who call.
I am the dragon at the gate. You can be pleasant and gain passage, or be a crispy critter.  The choice is yours.