You Be the Judge

Dear Reader,

Not too long ago, Admin Gal was made aware of an unfortunate situation of an administrative colleague.  

We Admins are often in positions to make many different decisions based on undocumented conversations.  This particular colleague had been asked to add some variety to the catering to an annual multi-week event.  Ever conscious of budgets and time constraints, this Admin went to work to make this request happen.

Imagine her surprise when she was taken to task by her manager, in front of multiple departments, for having blown a budget.  

Here are some key points to take into consideration:

1.     Said Admin had negotiated excellent rates with every vendor who provided food for the event.

2.     At no point did the manager ask to see costs for the meals being provided before he made a scene.

3.     Said manager had a plate full of food as he made a fool of himself.

4.     Everything came well with in the budget alloted for the event.

Admin Gal has heard many a sad tale in her career, but this particular tale of abuse raised her hackles.  

As Admins, we are like ducks, shaking off the bad and reveling in the good.  However, one bad manager can certainly spoil the job.

Dear Reader, what would you do in our dear Admin's place?

Telephonic Imbeciles

Admin Gal walked into a conference room the other day to set up for a meeting.  To her horror the previous occupants hadn't hung up the telephone, disconnecting the conference bridge.

People from the other side hadn't left their conference room, nor had they disconnected the teleconference bridge on their side.  Admin Gal walked into a serious discussion on...



Shoes.  Specifically, the new season of Loubitans.


Fortunately, this was an inter-company conference call.  Clearing her throat, Admin Gal signaled her presence and her preference for the classic platform pump.

Nothing sensitive was being discussed - this time.

But for the love of all things sane!  Make sure all the technology, that makes our meetings run smoothly, is disconnected and put away at the end of each meeting.

Sales Call Fail #1

Admin:   Good Afternoon, thank you for calling ABC Company, how may I help you?

Sales Person:  I'd like to speak with Mr. XXXX.

Admin: I'm sorry he is unavailable, may I take a message?

Sales Person: If he is unavailable, no. Click

Admin Gal as a few pithy remarks about this brief yet memorable conversation. 

Her boss is never available on first blush to a stranger.  If you don't leave a message, Admin Gal PROMISES he will never ever be available to you.  

The arrogance of assumption that you are able to speak to a ranking executive in a Fortune 500 company based on a cold call, tells Admin Gal that you have an elevated sense of importance.  She'll be happy to send you crashing back to earth.  Painfully or politely is entirely your choice.

Asking the best way to contact the executive WILL win points in Admin Gal's eyes and might get you in the door.  

Chain of Command

Admin Gal has noticed that as people climb the corporate ladder, the rarefied air can sometimes go to people's head.  As the titles of Managers, District Managers, Director etc. start getting attached to names,  individuals can forget that they still must report to someone.

Frankly?  When your boss says a meeting must take place, you shouldn't push back.  You should say - Yes, sir/ma'am!  Just because you sit in a management position, doesn't mean you don't have a chain of command you fall into.

When you say 'NO' to your boss enough times.  Your boss will say 'No, we don't need you working here anymore.'

Voice Mail Etiquette

Have you ever gotten a voice mail that has exceeded the time on the voice mail system and the caller has called back to call AGAIN?  Admin Gal has twice - on a Monday - before 8am.

A voice mail is a simple finite message.  It should include 3 things:

1. Your name
2. Your method of contact 
3. A BRIEF message with pertinent facts.

No more and no less.

Exceeding the 90 second space allotted on your voice message with your resume, your sales qualifications, content that should go into an email but you are too lazy to type and you know the admin will have the privilege of transcribing your rambling, is NOT appropriate.  Adding insult to injury, creating another voice mail that will fall in front of the old one, therefore out of sync, just annoys the admin.  Your messages will then end up in the our phone system has been acting up lately file (oops!).

If you can please apply the simple and finite rules listed above will ensure your message reaching the appropriate person.

BEEEEP!

Just Because It's There...

doesn't mean you have to avail yourself of it.

Like most people, I have a sweet tooth.  So, I have a small candy bowl place for my convenience at my desk.  When I say convenience, I mean at the back of my desk where it is easy to reach for me.  If someone wants to partake of its contents, they seriously have to make an effort.  Which means generally tripping over me.

I don't mind the occasional, 'Ooo, do you mind?' I'm willing to share.

I DO mind the person who walks into my cubicle, climbs over my warm, working body and grabs a handful of whatever is in the bowl.  Leaving without a greet, glance or anything.

Were they raised by mutants?

I once worked in an office where the candy bowl was communal and once a week everyone contributed $3-5 and their preferred candy.  All was good in the universe.  But if the bowl is private, placed in an obviously difficult place, ask before you snatch.  It's only polite.

Intern Survival 101

A new semester of school has started.  For our K-12 students, parents across the country are shouting "Huzzah!" as they no longer have to find things for their offspring to do as the parental units are working.

Alas for the collegiate student, for some classes are starting and for some internships are starting.  To the newly Interned, Admin Gal as a few choice words of advice for your survival in the corporate arena.

1. The Admin is not there to do your job for you. - Just because you think the Admin is a flashback to the halcyon days of Mad Men, think again. We have our own responsibilities, deadlines and projects.
2. Be on-time to everything meeting, this will get you noticed in a good way. - If a meeting gets held up because you can't remember that your lunch hour is only an hour, then you will find yourself out of an internship and sitting on your parents sofa without an income.  They, your parents, will not be pleased.
3. DO NOT be late on any deadlines. -  You can not talk you way into a better grade in the corporate arena.  Missed deadlines mean lost revenue.  Don't make the corporate world sacrifice you to their deities.
4. If you screw up, under no circumstances blame the Admin.  - The Admin has been watching you and documenting your performance.  They will have the documentation needed to bury you.  Be responsible, admit your mistake and learn from the experience.
5. Make nice with the Admin. - Making their life easier will go a long way to making your corporate experience better.  When you get back to the academic environment, you'll have a greater appreciation for your department Admin who deals with hundreds of students with little appreciation on their part.

If you, the Intern, can abide by these simple guidelines, Admin Gal can guarantee you that at least the day to day part of your internship will go smoothly. She can't guarantee how much you learn.

Good luck Interns.

Squatters have no Rights!

Admin Gal has friends in many organizations across the land.  A common hew and cry is the presumptive use of conference rooms.

Conference rooms are a carefully scheduled resource designed to be used for the entire organization.  When one person decides to coop one without a care to the schedule or the others who have reserved the resource, well things can get ugly.

It takes an Admin of exception constitution to wade in and sort through this matter.  Sometimes we are dealing with people way beyond our pay grade.  But rules are rules.  Often times they are rules they set.  People can't just set aside rules willy-nilly because it suits.  Anarchy would reign!

Admin Gal will not have anarchy in her office that she does not cause herself!

So, conference room squatters beware.  Should you choose to lay claim to a resource that is not yours, hoping to invoke the 'possession is 9/10' and all that.  Just know that you will be summarily shuffled out of your room so that the original meeting may be held at its scheduled time.

If you choose to protest...might I remind you that as a squatter, you have no rights.

Pick Up the Phone!

We all do it.  Take a call on speaker phone because we don't have a headset, or need to multi-task.  When we live in cubicle land for a full third of our lives, it is not a full experience to hear everyones conversations.

It gets even worse when people put their own families on speaker phone, letting the whole world know their business.  Frankly, the world doesn't want to know.  I don't want to know about Aunt Martha's hemorrhoid surgery or Daddy's colitis or Sally-Jo's dating travails.  Everyone has enough drama in their lives, why do we want yours?

So, here are a few simple rules by which to keep your cubicle mates from finding creative ways of disrupting your calls:

1. Pick up the handset of the telephone!  It won't kill you and you might even have some privacy.
2. Ask IT for a headset if your neck hurts from bracing the handset between your ear and your shoulder.
3. Reserve a conference room if the call will be long or have an engaged discussion.

If your cubicle mates won't take the hints or outright requests to pick up the phone, here are a few things that might encourage them to change their ways:

1. Interrupt and participate in their conversation.  After all, if it's on speaker phone it's public consumption.
2. Have a coughing attack every time they are on the phone. The more disgusting the better. Who wants to be talking to someone who works in a germ factory.
3. Record the conversation at your desk and play if for their manager.  After all, managers really do not want their employees discussing company or personal business in a way that will disrupt everyone else's ability to do there job.

Honestly, if you don't want your personal life or your work life talked about, PICK UP THE PHONE!

Don't You Know Who I Am?

Admin Gal must give a shout out to a friend in the west.  She is faced with many of the same dilemma's, and handles them with much grace.  In particular, her latest post is a delight with Things You Say That Will Make Me Doubt You.


Her last point in particular struck a nerve, “You don’t understand, you are going to do what I tell you.  Don’t you know who I am?”  


Unfortunately, I could relate to that poorly worded demand.  My response is pretty standard, "Actually, no, I don’t know who you are. I know all the important people by name and sight."  All the while smiling sweetly or having a sweet tone in my voice if the person is on the phone uttering such an unfortunate statement.


My internal meter for lying is pretty accurate.  When someone is pushing the 'Don't you know who I am?' card, it generally means they have absolutely nothing to back themselves up with and are blow hards. 


Now, if said individuals had asked politely for assistance.  Explaining the situation and the urgency to them, allowing for some give and take, nine times out of ten they would find that the aid/information/meetings they were trying to bully themselves into would be given freely or opportunities for other options would be opened up to them.


Instead - they are dead in the water.  Shark bait.

It must be hard for people to be important in the small land of their imagination.

Horrible Sales People Hall of Fame

Dear Sales People of the Business-verse,

I recognize that you have a job to do.  Really, I do.  But lying to the admin is a poor way to start any business relationship. We always remember the first impression and are not afraid to share our view point with our bosses.

A few words of wisdom if you want to speak with my boss:

1. Just because you get the Admin doesn't mean you need to hang up.  I write the number down and remember the rudeness.
2. My job is to screen calls, directing you to the RIGHT person.  More than likely, my boss is not the person you need to speak with. If you would give me a moment of your time, I could get you to someone you'd have a chance with.
3. Breathing heavily and hanging up will only get you mocked. Really, you have no idea the amusement you provide when you do that.
4. Implying that I'm lying, lazy, stupid, or deficient in anyway WILL get you blacklisted with in my company.  I make lists and make sure they are published.  I also make calls to your company and talk to your managers, expressing my unhappiness with your conduct.
5. Politeness will open doors, kindness will get you a conversation.

I have met some genuinely delightful sales people who have listened to me, therefore getting a coveted conversation with the appropriate person in my organization.

I have also met some truly despicable people who will forever reside in the Horrible Sales People Hall of Fame.  Not a place anyone wants to be.

Sincerely,

The Admin

Grazers Beware!

They wait outside a catered meeting, hovering around the door like moths to a flame.  The subtle smell of food slips out from underneath the closed door.  As the appointed end time approaches, the jockeying around the door takes on a frenzied pitch as people try to figure out how to get into the room while not running down the exiting participants.


The meeting is over.  The door opens.  The first person out the door is met by a crazed crowd of food poachers. They throw up their padfolios in a defensive posture, bulldozing their way through the stampeding throng.  The chaos in the doorway between the entrants and exitants is tense.


A hew and cry of torment is given when the poachers realize that the much anticipated free meal has been eaten by the intended party.  Not a crumb to spare.  The hapless  meeting attendees have already scurried back to their various desks, safe.


For the moment.


You can't tell me it doesn't exist in your company the professional grazer, that goes from event to event. Uninvited, ever poaching what is not theirs.  The really bold ones, actually walk into the meeting helping themselves to food that hasn't included them in the count.

The ever vigilant admin has to watch the food like a hawk for the catered meeting.  Making sure that the intended audience received the meal.  Catered meals do not come cheap.  There are budgets and head counts involved.  When people start poaching, they start wreaking havoc on carefully laid plans.

Thus, invoking the wrath of the Admin!  And frankly? It can't end well.

Food is in the Air

To the office staff in general:

I, Admin Gal, send a plea of epic proportions out to save my olfactory sense. Preserve this delicate sense of smell for the flowers that bloom beyond our concrete jungle, for the sweet smell of baby powder after a bath, for anything other than the malodorous offense of fish and some other indecipherable substance that has been heated up in the microwave.

Oftentimes our midday meal is the main meal of our day. But to bring something that will send a stank through the floor, ruining everyone else's meal is just plain rude. Some businesses actually have rules as to what can be brought to work to be heated up, so not to offend the general populace.

I implore you to be considerate. If you must have your super spicy jambalaya (which I adore), your fabulous curry that your grandmother makes, the fish that only the cat should eat, please take into consideration the people you work with. Their stomachs and noses may not be as fortified as yours.

Cubicle Courtesy

Admin Gal is in a delicate situation.  Morale is in the dumps in her division. An out-sourcing initiative is reaching its conclusion. People are on the cusp of working and not giving a rat's patootie about performing their duties in their last days.

She realizes there is only so much she can do to encourage productivity.  What are their collective supervisors going to do? Fire them?

But there is a certain courtesy that needs to remain in play during this time.  Not everyone is leaving. Those who are staying still have to work.  Having a party in the cubicle next door is enough to send the normally polite and sensible Admin Gal over the edge.

While job-hunting tips are never a bad thing to know, Admin Gal draws the line at listening to murmuring and griping about the current situation her co-workers find themselves in.  They could have walked away at any given time.

All she asks is for some common courtesy in the cubicle environment.

In other words --


KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE!

Chatter Much?

As an Admin, I’m all for communication, camaraderie, and corporate cohesion.  But when in a cubicle environment, over chatter is tantamount to TMI (too much information).

I’ve heard stories about children, pets, relationships,  and love lives that would curl your hair.  Apparently, people feel that the laws of acoustical physics do not apply in cubical land.  We all know that fabric and styrofoam are impervious sound barriers – NOT!

It’s hard to turn a deaf ear to complaining and moaning about their lot in life about how miserable their jobs are.  We all know that times are tough.

To quote a sign I recently saw, “IF YOU’RE UNHAPPY WHERE YOU ARE – MOVE!“

We all chatter amongst ourselves, it’s human nature.  It’s our jobs to make our environment uplifting an positive.  The negative chatter and mind sets only make things miserable, sowing seeds of destruction and strife.

If you can’t say something positive – please don’t say anything at all!

Tools of the Trade

We all have tools by which we do our jobs. Tools we love and tools that we hate. Admin Gal has a particular tool that she LOATHES with a vengeful passion.

Instant Messaging - the bane of corporate America!

Instant Messaging, by itself, is a benign program. Used to say 'Hi!', send short, fast snippets of information back and forth. Pass time with.

In the corporate environment, it has become the tool of the DEVIL! DEVIL I say! There is no nicety in Instant Messaging. No 'Hey do you have a minute?'. Worse, people write tomes in it. Send an email already!

The box just rudely pops up on top of whatever you are doing and demands your attention. Your status might be 'Busy', frankly few people actually pay attention to that. There are days when Admin Gal has 17 different conversations going at once. All relevant to her job.

Her boss insists that she stays logged in, he's allowed to make that request. Everyone else, needs to be very polite. The minute Admin Gal figures out how, she's going to develop an IM defense system that will destroy annoying people that are too rude and lazy to pick up the telephone.

Just because my status shows I'm 'Available', doesn't mean I'm available to you.

Never Assume

This is a delicate topic, but Admin Gal feel that it is necessary to address. When a floor has a single-room restroom that is convenient to the population and a larger multi-stall facility in an inconvenient location, it really is not appropriate to assume that it will be 'convenient' at your arrival!

If the floor people work on is busy and at capacity and the restroom facilities are limited, being polite has never made an ass out of anyone.

There is nothing more frighting when engaged in the restroom to have the door all but beaten down by a person who is not paying attention to niceties. Running into the door at full speed like a herd of rampaging elephants, does NOTHING for the expediency of any processes. For all rampager knows, the lock might give and all involved will be in for a rude surprise.

Admin Gal admonishes all to use some restraint when heading into rooms that might be occupied.

Printer Responsibility!

As Admin Gal passes the only color copier/printer on her floor, she is APPALLED at the lack of discretion used by her fellow employees.  There are print jobs going to the printer that should be done in black and white, church bulletins, pictures of jewelry lusted after, house listings, copies of pictures of peoples children, etc - there are some things I don't want to know about you.  All of this during working hours.  None of this should be occurring at all.

When a resource is limited, people should keep in mind that it is just that - LIMITED!  It shouldn't be burdened by personal jobs, thereby inhibiting others from getting actual work done.

Not to mention the cost of making color copies or print to a color printer.  Even though this is not coming out of the offenders actual pocket, SOMEBODY is paying for it.

So Admin Gal admonishes people to think twice before you print to a color printer.  Is it necessary?  Will it bog down some one else's job?  Think of someone else besides them self.

BTW, effective immediately Admin Gal will start recycling all non-job related print jobs she sees.  AND a code that only she know will go on the printer, so you will now have to come to her for your print jobs.  Try explaining little Joey's cute picture now!

Not In Your Job Description?

Okay people.  Didn't your mothers teach you anything?  When you take the last of anything, DO NOT LEAVE THE CARCASS MOLDERING FOR OTHERS TO DISPOSE OF!
Taking the last of anything and leaving the empty container is rude.  When asked the perpetrators are asked 'Why did you leave this garbage in the supply cabinet when there is a trash can next to it?' And their reply is 'It's not my job?'
SERIOUSLY!?!?!?!?!?!  What planet where they raised on?
It's not my job to play nurse maid to a bunch of supposed adults who should be able to pick up after themselves.  A word to the wise, it is EVERYBODY's job to contribute to a healthy environment.  If that means picking up after yourselves, so be it!
Lack of responsibility is a pet peeve of mine in the supply cabinet.  I expect a certain amount of maturity to be exhibited.  You take the last thing, you need to do the following:

1. Tell the person who maintains the supplies. (Yes, folks, that is ME!)
2. Throw away the empty containers. (This won't kill you, demote you, or demean you.)
3. Do not expect 1 & 2 to be done by others!

While this is not a difficult concept on paper, the actual application and implementation is apparently beyond the capabilities of mature adults who hold down jobs where multi-million dollar decisions are being made.
Or it could be I'm dealing with idiot savants.

A Jury of My Peers

A good friend of the Admin Gal recently pointed out  her frustration of meetings that run over their allotted time.  Admin Gal realizes this is a common theme in this blog.  But with so much material and so many people to help, how can this topic not be revisited regularly?

Meetings are an opportunity for people to come together for a common purpose to come to a decision. Or realize that they won’t come to a mutual desired outcome.  Normally, attendees come prepared ready to make the needed decision or touch base on the current milestone.  All of this can be done with in the allotted meeting time.

Here is when things can go terribly, terribly wrong.  Sometimes, when an attendee feels slighted, for what ever reason, they decide to hold the meeting hostage.  If you will, a meeting filibuster.  Not letting anyone get a word in until they’ve made their pointless point.

5, 10, 30 minutes later.  Everyone’s schedules are in disarray,  other meetings have been held up because of this person’s axe to grind. AND no decision has been reached.

This is where you wonder if a jury of your peers would truly understand if you went postal?