Consultant vs. Vendor

There are many types of relationships in the business world.  Some more permanent than others.  Over the years, I have found the relationships that I develop with my preferred vendors have seen me through thick and thin.

Unfortunately, those relationships can be threatened by the introduction of a new player in town.  The Consultant.

Consultants are people that are paid by the company to tell us how to do things.  Yes, that’s right, we pay them to tell us what to do.  That means the consultant generally comes already equipped with a healthy ego and a sense of entitlement.

They invade the work place like ants at a picnic.  Sticking their noses everywhere, playing merry-hob with calendars and demanding resources like they were executives.

Here is a warning to my fly-by-night consultants. MESS NOT WITH MY VENDOR RELATIONSHIP, LEST YE FEEL THE WRATH OF THE ASSISTANT!


You, the consultant, are here for only a short time.  Your demands are petty and short-lived.  I have to live with the mess you leave behind.

I know where your monies are sent.  I know the admins at your headquarters. I am not afraid to make your collective lives miserable!

RESPECT THE MEETING NOTICE!

MEETING - an assembly or conference of persons for a specific purpose or event.

There is nothing more frustrating than having set up a meeting 45 days ago, then finding out the day of the meeting that two of the principle players couldn’t be bothered to participate.  They accepted, but never chose to change their status so that alternative arrangements could be made.

This particular meeting had already been rescheduled 4 times.  All participants tell me it is imperative to have said meeting.  My boss, who was at the right time at the right place, was made to look bad.  Which in turn made me feel crappy.

I get it, plans change.  People get busy.

For Pete Sakes! Check your calendar and be courteous.  Decline the meeting if you aren’t coming.

Experiments in Software

Like all companies, in these hard economic times, mine is on the look out for the best deal on anything.  Recently we started taking a hard look at our email delivery system.  We currently use a system that is so half-a#$$ed backwards that no reputable hacker would want to be known for hacking it.  I break the email system on a regular basis. I'm not doing anything special.  Just using it.  But then I am an Admin...
I'm on a first name basis with the third-tier tech support for this software.  In fact, when my name comes up I'm pretty sure the conversation goes like this:

Expert #1: OH NO! It's HER!  I'm not picking up the phone!

Expert #2: I took her call last time. It's YOUR turn!

(Picture me on hold, tapping my fingers on my desk!)

The argument continues, fisticuffs erupt. 

FINALLY! Someone picks up the line.

Expert #3:  (who had to break up the fight, answers breathlessly) Hello XXXX, how can we help you today?

But I digress.  We are currently in the beginning of a email pilot.  I and an intrepid group of Executive Admins have been carefully selected to push this system to its limits and beyond.  I've spent the last week in training.  I'm bleeding Blue, Red, Orange, Blue, Green, and Red.
The pilot hasn't even started AND, I've already broken the calendar.  The next thirty days are going to be fun!

Flexibility!

I’m so flexible, I’m a pretzel! 

So, I spend a week and a half setting up 90 minute high-level executive meetings over a three week period. Juggling schedules, begging for meetings to move to accommodate said meetings, bribing where I can, to get all the meetings scheduled. 

One phone call destroys my hours and days of hard work.  The admin who made the call gets my frustration, but the executive who made the decision has no clue how hard it was to arrange all the meetings.  He just said ‘Make it so’. 

Instead he wants one mega meeting, which was the original idea.  Two weeks ago this meeting would have been easy to arrange.  Now, putting this meeting together for tomorrow is a logistical nightmare.  But, since the company officers attending the meeting are high enough up in the company, everyone can clear their schedules and make due.

Hierarchy is a double-edge sword.