Sales Hijinks

Dear Readers,
One more tidbit before Year's End.  Admin Gal received a call from her IT rep.

Much to her surprise, a request had been called in to start a 'free, no-obligation' trial of a gadget for a warehouse inventory system.  Admin Gal had submitted no such request nor would she

Admin Gal was NOT AMUSED!!!!!

In a calm voice, she asked the vendor name and the date of the request.  She flipped through her trusty calendar,  Admin Gal located the offending sales call.

You see, Admin Gal has a habit of jotting down numbers, names, companies and notes on sales calls. Particularly on calls that are annoying.

The details of the call came flooding back.  The offer of a free trial had been offered and roundly refused.  The scheming sales person had gone behind Admin Gal's back and submitted a request in her name to implement the trial of his equipment.

Admin Gal's first reaction was unprintable.  Needless to say, an investigation is underway.

Admin Gal as a lot of influence.  But to order the trial of expensive equipment is not one of them.  This vendor is on the DO NOT DO BUSINESS WITH list.  Thanks to this person's ingenuity.

When the answer is 'no', it does not mean maybe.

Happy Holidays!

This has been a grand year.  Admin Gal would like to thank everyone who has inspired her and who has supported her in her mission to question the ridiculous fabulouscity of our working lives.

As 2010 closes, her only wish would be that everyone can go safely among the holiday revelry, remembering that gaffs and missteps never are forgotten at the holiday gathering.  So remember to check your lists, stick to your limits, and, for pete's sake, watch out for those reindeer!

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Joie Noel, and any other celebration I may have missed.  And ring in the New Year Safely!

A Sticky Wicket

An Admin's job is never done, but this takes it to a whole new level.

Pass the syrup please!

Dressing for the Winter Weather

Well, certainly, my dear, I do not expect you to wear your best shoes, including high heels in this weather, especially when you have to walk the sidewalks of Richmond.  However, there is a certain decorum when you reach the office.

Please, wear hiking boots, big gloves, floppy hat – whatever it takes to keep the wind/rain/sleet/crap falling from the sky.  But when you get here – please be prepared to dress according to your work standards.  Change out of those big honking boots, brush your hair and get to work.  Yes, we all know it is snowing outside …

(Courtesy of Katherine N.)

The End is Near!

Year end reports, deadlines for the year's expenses, accruals and more!

December isn't just about that giant, jolly red elf and using vacation time.  Absolutely not!  No, its about getting ready for the next year by making sure the previous year's 'i''s and 't''s are dotted and crossed.

An Admin is aware of all the deadlines.  We put reminders on calendars, we send emails, we use sticky notes and smoke signals.  Sometimes we even stand on our heads in order to get people to do their part in the year end preparation.

As our colleagues act surprised by the pile of year-end to do's that end up on their desk, the Admin will calmly smile through the tempest in a teapot.

Passing the Buck

Admin Gal as a bone to pick.  Just because she can solve most of the problems that inundate the work place, does not mean that she will do the job that nobody else wants to do.

For example, if you don't know how to add someone to a database DO NOT punt the job to Admin Gal.  Seriously.  It will only annoy her.  She will have to stop what she is doing find out who owns the database, direct the unfortunate individual to that person and instruct them in the proper procedure.

The power of an administrative assistant is nothing short of miraculous, but it stops at doing someone else's job.

Holiday Cheer

As the Holiday Season descends upon us, Admin Gal has a few words of advice:

1. Remember that work Holiday function is just that - WORK RELATED!  You might not remember anything you said or did, but your colleagues will - guaranteed!
2. Holiday music is to be used judiciously. Just because you LOVE holiday music, be kind to those around you who aren't so inclined. Use your headphones.
3. Scents of the season should be kept at home.  Pine, cinnamon, apple pie are popular scents for candles, potpourri, etc.  Those smells can cause serious sinus and allergy issues in enclosed places such as office environments.
4. Holiday Gift Exchanges or Secret Santa's are not the time to find your inner prankster.  Having a co-worker open something that is NSFW or immature will be remembered far longer than the season it was given.  Not the memory you want to give.

If these simple guidelines can be followed, Admin Gal feels you will survive this Holiday Season with goodwill and cheer.

In Demand

It's tough to be a coveted commodity.  A luxury item, if you will. An item fought over by executives who want you for status, for skills you possess, and/or a stunning personality.

Really?

Admin Gal has a colleague who is a pawn in a power play.  Her salary comes out of one budget, but she is utilized by the other executive she reports to.  Budgets are being determined for the next year.  The behind the scenes wrangling is getting to be bloody. Admin Gal has a feeling her friends salary will be shifting cost centers in the new year.

Until then, she is caught in the vortex of a power struggle of which she will only lose if she chooses sides.

It's tough to be popular.

Morale

Sometimes morale is a tough sell in the workplace. With budget cuts, lay offs, increased productivity in the form of more to do with less people.  Everyone is under the gun at work.  It gets really tiring, and frankly demoralizing.

At the end of the day we should be able to walk out the door each day and leave the job behind, satisfied we've done our best.  And that should be enough.

But it's not.

How do we take control of our work environment, making it healthy?  The answers are simple, the implementation, not so much:

1. Say 'NO'.  If people have a habit of dumping part of their job on you, enforce your boundaries and push back.  
2. Prioritize what comes across your desk. - When there are conflicting priorities, communicate with the parties involved and find a solution that won't send you over the edge.
3. Don't take work home.  
4. Just Breathe.  Take a moment and breathe.  Don't let the stress build.  A little stress is normal, it comes and goes.  Stress that doesn't go away is deadly.  Take the time to breathe, work through stress.

When you are happier and in a healthier place, your morale is good.  Morale is a virus that is contagious, good morale will spread as easily as bad.

When Under the Weather

Dear Team,

When Admin Gal is under the weather, certain protocols should be observed.

1. Inquiries of her health and well being is always appreciated.
2. Flowers are always looked upon fondly.
3. Good wishes for return to health are also considered appropriate.

Admin Gal is aware that her presence and skills are missed when she is not at her post.  She can not control the vagrancies of the current viruses or bacteria that are floating around the world.

What is not appreciated are phone calls or emails demanding she carry her germ ridden self into the office to take care of projects that are only important in the mind of the person assigning priority.  Or who do not want the task themselves (which is often the case).

The projects were present the previous day and will survive until Admin Gal is back in the office healthy and whole.  OR she can spread her contagion about the impolite person's office.

Your choice.

Admin Gal

Chain of Command

Admin Gal has noticed that as people climb the corporate ladder, the rarefied air can sometimes go to people's head.  As the titles of Managers, District Managers, Director etc. start getting attached to names,  individuals can forget that they still must report to someone.

Frankly?  When your boss says a meeting must take place, you shouldn't push back.  You should say - Yes, sir/ma'am!  Just because you sit in a management position, doesn't mean you don't have a chain of command you fall into.

When you say 'NO' to your boss enough times.  Your boss will say 'No, we don't need you working here anymore.'

I Get It!

Managers make changes to calendars because they think, we the Admins, are bored!  Why else would they change a 20 person meeting with less than 2 hours notice that involves 3 executives and other busy people.   We need the adrenaline rush that comes with the reschedule.

NOT!

Really? Aside from death, dismemberment and illness, there are very few excuses that justify the reschedule of a meeting with such short notice.

Being the professional I am, I slap a smile on my face and perform miracles.

Managing Expectations

A good Admin will always ask for a deadline for when a task or project is due.  That way we can prioritize what we have on our plates.

Sometimes, one person's deadline must fall secondary to another high priority deadline due to management seniority or urgency of the project.

Woe be unto the person who submits a project and says, "I know you'll have this done in 5 mins, so I'm just going to send out an email saying its done!" As they scuttle out the door.

Just because you say it will be done and run, doesn't mean it will happen.  Sending out a preemptive email only makes YOU look unaware.

We Admins will manage our work loads. Thank you very much!

Voice Mail Etiquette

Have you ever gotten a voice mail that has exceeded the time on the voice mail system and the caller has called back to call AGAIN?  Admin Gal has twice - on a Monday - before 8am.

A voice mail is a simple finite message.  It should include 3 things:

1. Your name
2. Your method of contact 
3. A BRIEF message with pertinent facts.

No more and no less.

Exceeding the 90 second space allotted on your voice message with your resume, your sales qualifications, content that should go into an email but you are too lazy to type and you know the admin will have the privilege of transcribing your rambling, is NOT appropriate.  Adding insult to injury, creating another voice mail that will fall in front of the old one, therefore out of sync, just annoys the admin.  Your messages will then end up in the our phone system has been acting up lately file (oops!).

If you can please apply the simple and finite rules listed above will ensure your message reaching the appropriate person.

BEEEEP!

A Word to the Wise

When asking for a favor to an Admin who does not support you, you the recipient of said favor should do everything in your power to make things easier for her.

If you do not,  said Admin might do one or all of the following:

1. Conveniently move your task to the least priority pile.  The pile that gets done when hell freezes over.
2. Mail your Visa application directly to the Kremlin, even though it was for Brazil.
3. Schedule hardware maintenance on computer without providing a replacement.  
4. Cancel your smartphone contract and charge the cancellation fee to your personal credit card.
5. Revoke your access to all essential drives that contain anything that might be remotely useful in the day to day operations of your job.

As an Admin, we are required to be helpful, not be taken advantage of.  

In Case of Emergency..

Admin Gal would like to remind you to walk, not run, down the stair case in case of emergency.

Dear Potential Vendor,

We here at ABC, Inc. realize that times are difficult.  That you are shaking every tree for any possible business opportunity.  Let us make a few points clear:

1. Yes, our terms our non-negotiable.
2. When we ask for X amount in liability insurance on your part, we mean it.  This is not a suggestion but an expectation of doing business.
3. Yes, we do follow the governmental safety and quality standards as put forth by said agencies.
4. Just because you went to school with the cousin of the sister-in-law of the CEO's estranged brother, will not automatically get you a coveted vendor slot.
5. We have a prohibitively strict gift policy - NO GIFTS.
6. Calling me everyday for 3 months will only make me annoyed.  
7. Sending multiple emails a day, makes you SPAM.
8. Sometimes, the answer is simply - NO.

Thank you for considering doing business with ABC, Inc.

Sincerely,

Admin Gal

Admin Life is Tough on the Body and Mind

Admin Gal is amused.  Very amused.  Did you know that her desk job is making her unhealthy?  MSNBC has a full article about how desk jobs are adding to the obesity problem of America.  How the sedentary life style of the working schmuck is the ruination of the nation!

Really?

Here Admin Gal thought that her job was just plain making her crazy.  If she didn't have to answer phones for perfectly capable individuals, maybe she'd have more time to get away from her desk. Perhaps, if Admin Gal didn't have to manage and manipulate the schedules of adults, because they have a difficult time assessing their own time management needs she'd have less stress.

So, perhaps the obliviot who wrote the article might have a point.  Admin Gal's desk job is ruining not only her mind, but her body too.

'C' is for the Crazy of the Calendar

Admin Gal started her job, not referring to herself in the third person.  She started as a nice, normal woman who had dreams and aspirations of world domination.

No where in her mind did she ever think she would get to know that the 'C' in Calendar really stood for ding-a-doodle Crazy.

Admin Gal can only do so much in the tersely worded instructional emails left in the dead of night, to engineer some miraculous meeting, over multiple continents, languages and, sometimes she thinks, species.

If the email says 'As soon as schedules permit...', she can only assume that is the intent of the message and plan accordingly. Any hidden subtext is just that...HIDDEN.

Calling Admin Gal, after the invitation has been sent to the appropriate parties, in a kerfuffle, saying that the meeting must take place as soon as humanly possible (in direct contradiction to your email), expect a polite freeze from your ever efficient Admin.

For Admin Gal does Crazy, but she doesn't do brain farts.

Copier/Printer Courtesy

If a print job looks to have multiple pages, common sense AND common courtesy says to leave it be until the job is done.  Ensuring the job will have no pages missing OR out of place for the person who must pick it up.

Unfortunately, common sense and courtesy seem to be lacking in the work place.  Bits and pieces of print jobs floating on counters like flotsam cast on the ocean.  To the person picking up the bitter pieces of this mess, this is a slap in the face.  An irksome job that demands retribution.

As an Admin, I do have some recourse.  I have an in with IT.  I'm going to get a code put on the color printer.  Limiting it only to mine and my boss's use.  We'll see how long it takes for the obliviots of the company to understand the one simple and finite rule...

YOU DON'T SCREW WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S PRINT JOB!

Just Because It's There...

doesn't mean you have to avail yourself of it.

Like most people, I have a sweet tooth.  So, I have a small candy bowl place for my convenience at my desk.  When I say convenience, I mean at the back of my desk where it is easy to reach for me.  If someone wants to partake of its contents, they seriously have to make an effort.  Which means generally tripping over me.

I don't mind the occasional, 'Ooo, do you mind?' I'm willing to share.

I DO mind the person who walks into my cubicle, climbs over my warm, working body and grabs a handful of whatever is in the bowl.  Leaving without a greet, glance or anything.

Were they raised by mutants?

I once worked in an office where the candy bowl was communal and once a week everyone contributed $3-5 and their preferred candy.  All was good in the universe.  But if the bowl is private, placed in an obviously difficult place, ask before you snatch.  It's only polite.

We are All Adults... Maybe

Didn't your mother teach you, when you take the last of anything you tell someone?

In the office environment, you tell the person who orders office supplies when you take the last of something.
Seriously?  How are they supposed to know.  By their super-dooper, psychic spidey sense attuned to the supply cabinet.

Or possibly the emergency office supply dog that will come bounding down the cubicle aisle like Lassie did to raise the alarm.

The admin goes to the supply cabinet once-a-week to do inventory.  If there is a run on an item and the last one is taken.  Courtesy should prevail.  Let. The. Admin. Know!

The Admin can only work so many miracles.  Reading minds is not among them.

Everybody is Important...

in their own mind.  

As an Admin there is a hierarchy of people in my life.  Numero Uno?  My boss.  When he says he is free, he is free.  When he says piss off to a persistent client, I translate it to a more palatable 'He is busy, we'll get back to you with a more convenient time.'

Everyone has something that is earth shatteringly important.  One of the few things that trumps my boss is his boss. And that is understandable.  

But a consultant we've done business with, who only wants to pitch a new venture is at the bottom of the heap.  Especially when he's been told that my boss's plate is over flowing with high priority things.  

Will they never learn?

Shark vs. the Guppy

There are some days this admin feels like a guppy surrounded by a bunch of sharks.  Small, without a lot of merit.

Those days tend to be few an far between. Why, faithful reader, do you ask?  It's simple.  As I dart in and out of the different sharks swimming along their various paths, I realize a have a mobility and an ability to change direction in a blink of an eye. Staying out of the way of the serrated teeth that might look at me as an appetizer.

And if I get really annoyed, I'll give the shark a firm punch on the nose. Sending them off to sulk in the depths of the sea to think about what they might have done.

A good admin, swims among the sharks with finesse and savvy, biting back when necessary.

Intern Survival 101

A new semester of school has started.  For our K-12 students, parents across the country are shouting "Huzzah!" as they no longer have to find things for their offspring to do as the parental units are working.

Alas for the collegiate student, for some classes are starting and for some internships are starting.  To the newly Interned, Admin Gal as a few choice words of advice for your survival in the corporate arena.

1. The Admin is not there to do your job for you. - Just because you think the Admin is a flashback to the halcyon days of Mad Men, think again. We have our own responsibilities, deadlines and projects.
2. Be on-time to everything meeting, this will get you noticed in a good way. - If a meeting gets held up because you can't remember that your lunch hour is only an hour, then you will find yourself out of an internship and sitting on your parents sofa without an income.  They, your parents, will not be pleased.
3. DO NOT be late on any deadlines. -  You can not talk you way into a better grade in the corporate arena.  Missed deadlines mean lost revenue.  Don't make the corporate world sacrifice you to their deities.
4. If you screw up, under no circumstances blame the Admin.  - The Admin has been watching you and documenting your performance.  They will have the documentation needed to bury you.  Be responsible, admit your mistake and learn from the experience.
5. Make nice with the Admin. - Making their life easier will go a long way to making your corporate experience better.  When you get back to the academic environment, you'll have a greater appreciation for your department Admin who deals with hundreds of students with little appreciation on their part.

If you, the Intern, can abide by these simple guidelines, Admin Gal can guarantee you that at least the day to day part of your internship will go smoothly. She can't guarantee how much you learn.

Good luck Interns.

Supply Management

Admin Gal doesn't mean to complain -- actually she does.  In her office, she has had a vast influx of new consultants from far off lands who apparently do not understand that office supplies are not to be hoarded, taken home or used frivolously.

Seriously, how many pens can one person use in a month?  Or pads of paper?  Or correction tape?

The sad reality is that the office supplies are dwindling faster than they ought too.  Admin Gal's trust has been sorely abused.  She is going to have to lock the supply cabinet and be put out as every Tom, Harry and Sanjay comes to her desk to beg for a pen or pencil.  I do not want this.  But if this is the only way I can manage the office supplies, so be it.

Crime Alert

This morning, Admin Gal walked into her cubicle to find that her gel mouse wrist rest had been murdered.

The murder weapon lay in plain sight on the floor.  A blue tack.

Method of Death?  A hundred holes poked into the loyal defenseless wrist rest.

Time of Death? Sometime around midnight.

Suspects?  Obviously someone who does not understand Admin Gal's wrath.

The wrist rest was fine when Admin Gal left the office at 5pm on the dot last night.  There are only a few people it can be.  Words will be had.

Funeral services for the loyal wrist rest to be announced

The Art of the Smile

Some days a simple smile can go a long way in the office environment.  I'm not talking a flirty or suggestive smile. I'm talking about a genuine happy to see you, I'm glad you are here smile.

The smile is something so simple, yet so powerfully profound.  When the office environment is tough, someone is having a really bad day, a smile can make all the difference in the world.

Not to be too dramatic, but a smile can save a life.

When you smile at a person, it means you acknowledge them.  You've made an effort to notice them.  In an age where we are inundated by deadlines, buried in assignments, and overwhelmed by responsibilities, being acknowledged can truly make a difference in your day or someone else's.

So, Admin Gal's Challenge to the world at large is to smile at someone today.

Save someone's day, and maybe their life.

404 Not Found

Really? While Admin Gal may have mad skill on the computer, she has to wonder if she were to run a diagnostic on certain peoples brains what would happen.

Perhaps the error - 404 Not Found?

Let me break it down.

1. The browser is the portal by which you view the internet, or access your email.  
2. Selecting 'Yes' will delete the directory with all your documents in it.  If that is not what you meant to do, don't do it!
3. Spilling any liquid on your laptop is not a good idea.  No amount of paper towels will save the day.
4. No, I will not expense shots during a business lunch.
5. Screaming 'COME BACK' at your monitor will never bring back a document, spreadsheet or any other lost file after a fatal error.
6. The blue screen of doom is never good. Only asking nicely will get you the number to the help desk.

If you can remember these basic items, I will refrain from packing up your office and sending it to Malaysia.  

Squatters have no Rights!

Admin Gal has friends in many organizations across the land.  A common hew and cry is the presumptive use of conference rooms.

Conference rooms are a carefully scheduled resource designed to be used for the entire organization.  When one person decides to coop one without a care to the schedule or the others who have reserved the resource, well things can get ugly.

It takes an Admin of exception constitution to wade in and sort through this matter.  Sometimes we are dealing with people way beyond our pay grade.  But rules are rules.  Often times they are rules they set.  People can't just set aside rules willy-nilly because it suits.  Anarchy would reign!

Admin Gal will not have anarchy in her office that she does not cause herself!

So, conference room squatters beware.  Should you choose to lay claim to a resource that is not yours, hoping to invoke the 'possession is 9/10' and all that.  Just know that you will be summarily shuffled out of your room so that the original meeting may be held at its scheduled time.

If you choose to protest...might I remind you that as a squatter, you have no rights.

Pick Up the Phone!

We all do it.  Take a call on speaker phone because we don't have a headset, or need to multi-task.  When we live in cubicle land for a full third of our lives, it is not a full experience to hear everyones conversations.

It gets even worse when people put their own families on speaker phone, letting the whole world know their business.  Frankly, the world doesn't want to know.  I don't want to know about Aunt Martha's hemorrhoid surgery or Daddy's colitis or Sally-Jo's dating travails.  Everyone has enough drama in their lives, why do we want yours?

So, here are a few simple rules by which to keep your cubicle mates from finding creative ways of disrupting your calls:

1. Pick up the handset of the telephone!  It won't kill you and you might even have some privacy.
2. Ask IT for a headset if your neck hurts from bracing the handset between your ear and your shoulder.
3. Reserve a conference room if the call will be long or have an engaged discussion.

If your cubicle mates won't take the hints or outright requests to pick up the phone, here are a few things that might encourage them to change their ways:

1. Interrupt and participate in their conversation.  After all, if it's on speaker phone it's public consumption.
2. Have a coughing attack every time they are on the phone. The more disgusting the better. Who wants to be talking to someone who works in a germ factory.
3. Record the conversation at your desk and play if for their manager.  After all, managers really do not want their employees discussing company or personal business in a way that will disrupt everyone else's ability to do there job.

Honestly, if you don't want your personal life or your work life talked about, PICK UP THE PHONE!

Confessionals & Morale Meters

As an Admin, we are a combination of confessionals, morale meters, undercover cops and good people trying to make their work environment better.  This can be a heavy load to bear.  We are a clearing house for information good and bad for our managers on the emotional and environmental health of our areas.  Sometimes it can be overwhelming or inspiring.

We can stop trouble before issues arise with a word of well placed advice in the ear of someone who can make a difference.  At times, we have to make the difficult choices that will impact personal relationships for the greater good of the company.

While we reflect our managers in our jobs, a good Admin also manages their environment.  Providing the best work place they can for they people they work with.

Everyone deserves to work in a healthy community.

Don't You Know Who I Am?

Admin Gal must give a shout out to a friend in the west.  She is faced with many of the same dilemma's, and handles them with much grace.  In particular, her latest post is a delight with Things You Say That Will Make Me Doubt You.


Her last point in particular struck a nerve, “You don’t understand, you are going to do what I tell you.  Don’t you know who I am?”  


Unfortunately, I could relate to that poorly worded demand.  My response is pretty standard, "Actually, no, I don’t know who you are. I know all the important people by name and sight."  All the while smiling sweetly or having a sweet tone in my voice if the person is on the phone uttering such an unfortunate statement.


My internal meter for lying is pretty accurate.  When someone is pushing the 'Don't you know who I am?' card, it generally means they have absolutely nothing to back themselves up with and are blow hards. 


Now, if said individuals had asked politely for assistance.  Explaining the situation and the urgency to them, allowing for some give and take, nine times out of ten they would find that the aid/information/meetings they were trying to bully themselves into would be given freely or opportunities for other options would be opened up to them.


Instead - they are dead in the water.  Shark bait.

It must be hard for people to be important in the small land of their imagination.

Horrible Sales People Hall of Fame

Dear Sales People of the Business-verse,

I recognize that you have a job to do.  Really, I do.  But lying to the admin is a poor way to start any business relationship. We always remember the first impression and are not afraid to share our view point with our bosses.

A few words of wisdom if you want to speak with my boss:

1. Just because you get the Admin doesn't mean you need to hang up.  I write the number down and remember the rudeness.
2. My job is to screen calls, directing you to the RIGHT person.  More than likely, my boss is not the person you need to speak with. If you would give me a moment of your time, I could get you to someone you'd have a chance with.
3. Breathing heavily and hanging up will only get you mocked. Really, you have no idea the amusement you provide when you do that.
4. Implying that I'm lying, lazy, stupid, or deficient in anyway WILL get you blacklisted with in my company.  I make lists and make sure they are published.  I also make calls to your company and talk to your managers, expressing my unhappiness with your conduct.
5. Politeness will open doors, kindness will get you a conversation.

I have met some genuinely delightful sales people who have listened to me, therefore getting a coveted conversation with the appropriate person in my organization.

I have also met some truly despicable people who will forever reside in the Horrible Sales People Hall of Fame.  Not a place anyone wants to be.

Sincerely,

The Admin

Beneath Who?

Breaking News! Team members have delusions of managerial rights! News at 10!

When a team has an admin as a part of their group.  The purpose of the admin is not to get coffee, take lunch orders or other menial tasks.  Often, said admin is in the trenches with the team members contributing valuable skills to the success of the group.  Providing support for projects, even (gasp) running projects in their own right.

Sending a document to an admin to print, when the sender is perfectly capable of printing said document - well, that is beyond the pale.  You see, that is sending the message to the admin that the sender feels the admin has nothing better to do with their time but to cater to their needs.  Never mind, there might be ten to twenty other people on the team with higher priority requests.

To be perfectly frank, only the admin's direct boss has the right to ask such a task. The admin is aware their boss often is under a time crunch and needs help. For a team member to send a document, then walk out the door for lunch - that is an unacceptable use of resources.  

An admin's job is not about doing someone's tasks that they feel are beneath them.  An admin's job is to enhance the overall work of the team.

Grazers Beware!

They wait outside a catered meeting, hovering around the door like moths to a flame.  The subtle smell of food slips out from underneath the closed door.  As the appointed end time approaches, the jockeying around the door takes on a frenzied pitch as people try to figure out how to get into the room while not running down the exiting participants.


The meeting is over.  The door opens.  The first person out the door is met by a crazed crowd of food poachers. They throw up their padfolios in a defensive posture, bulldozing their way through the stampeding throng.  The chaos in the doorway between the entrants and exitants is tense.


A hew and cry of torment is given when the poachers realize that the much anticipated free meal has been eaten by the intended party.  Not a crumb to spare.  The hapless  meeting attendees have already scurried back to their various desks, safe.


For the moment.


You can't tell me it doesn't exist in your company the professional grazer, that goes from event to event. Uninvited, ever poaching what is not theirs.  The really bold ones, actually walk into the meeting helping themselves to food that hasn't included them in the count.

The ever vigilant admin has to watch the food like a hawk for the catered meeting.  Making sure that the intended audience received the meal.  Catered meals do not come cheap.  There are budgets and head counts involved.  When people start poaching, they start wreaking havoc on carefully laid plans.

Thus, invoking the wrath of the Admin!  And frankly? It can't end well.

Feeling Judged

Mid-Year Reviews time has hit.  I have to admit that this time of year always feels like a crap shoot. 

I know that I've done a good job during the year. I've listened to any coaching I've received and applied it. Working to create a better environment for myself and those around me.  

But, actually sitting in the review is nerve-wracking. How I perceive my work is going through the lens of another's perception. It can go either way.

I am proud to say that I was spot on with my assessment of my work so far this year.

Half a year down, half a year to go.

Go Team!

Food is in the Air

To the office staff in general:

I, Admin Gal, send a plea of epic proportions out to save my olfactory sense. Preserve this delicate sense of smell for the flowers that bloom beyond our concrete jungle, for the sweet smell of baby powder after a bath, for anything other than the malodorous offense of fish and some other indecipherable substance that has been heated up in the microwave.

Oftentimes our midday meal is the main meal of our day. But to bring something that will send a stank through the floor, ruining everyone else's meal is just plain rude. Some businesses actually have rules as to what can be brought to work to be heated up, so not to offend the general populace.

I implore you to be considerate. If you must have your super spicy jambalaya (which I adore), your fabulous curry that your grandmother makes, the fish that only the cat should eat, please take into consideration the people you work with. Their stomachs and noses may not be as fortified as yours.

Cubicle Courtesy

Admin Gal is in a delicate situation.  Morale is in the dumps in her division. An out-sourcing initiative is reaching its conclusion. People are on the cusp of working and not giving a rat's patootie about performing their duties in their last days.

She realizes there is only so much she can do to encourage productivity.  What are their collective supervisors going to do? Fire them?

But there is a certain courtesy that needs to remain in play during this time.  Not everyone is leaving. Those who are staying still have to work.  Having a party in the cubicle next door is enough to send the normally polite and sensible Admin Gal over the edge.

While job-hunting tips are never a bad thing to know, Admin Gal draws the line at listening to murmuring and griping about the current situation her co-workers find themselves in.  They could have walked away at any given time.

All she asks is for some common courtesy in the cubicle environment.

In other words --


KEEP IT DOWN OVER THERE!

Helping the Helpless

Sometimes the helpless can not be helped. Being asked to call the help desk for an issue that requires permissions that I, as an admin have not been granted, is a colossal waste of time. You see, the help desk is bound by certain protocols that even the most resourceful admins have a hard time breaking through.

But I digress.

Oftentimes we, the admin, are asked to find forgotten passwords, give permissions to systems that we have no rights to, OR pose as the manager or executive in question to figure out a problem that they have described as "the computer is doing that thing that sounds like {insert an unpleasant body sound}."

Seriously?

I know we have super powers and if you were to put the admins in the governing bodies of the world, we'd have the majority of the problems fixed before lunch. But I don't know how to describe a problem to the help desk that sounds like a fart.

There are times when the management needs to suck it up and help themselves.

Vacation Admonitions

In preparation for taking some well deserved down time, Admin Gal has prepared the following prep list for her executive team:

1. Communications - I have set up a back up Admin to assist you during my absence.  No, that does not mean you can email me, telephone me or contact me in any fashion for the aforementioned time.  The back-up Admin is there to assist you while I am out of the office taking a well deserved break from YOU, drinking Mai Tai's until I can't remember where I work.
2. Projects - Any actions that need to be addressed while I am gone should be directed to my associate.  She has been brief in any out-standing items and can render assistance.  DO NOT hoard your tasks until my return, demanding that I complete said tasks as an emergency of your making.
3. My Desk - DO NOT pile my desk with tasks, papers, files or assorted notes of things you might have forgotten to tell me before I left.  I am not there to read  or accomplish them.  (if they are time sensitive... well SOL)  The last thing I want to do is come back to a desk piled high of things that you no long want on your desk.  Or sticky-notes covering my monitor of things you deem too important for me to forget upon my return.

If these three simple guidelines can be met, your Admin will be returned to you in a relaxed and stress-free fashion, ready to take on the next gargantuan set of tasks set before her.

Alas, if you can not help yourselves and can not avail yourselves of the resources left to help you while your Admin is away...

May the PTB's (Powers That Be) rest your souls.

The Paper Fairy Doesn't Live Here

oes the Admin Gal have wings?  Do you really want her visiting you when she finds 20 unprinted jobs stacked up on the printer and the only excuse was 'there was no paper?'

I hate to break it to you folks ... but there is no Paper Fairy!  There I said it!  There is no magical being who goes from printer to copier waving their magical wand, filling the paper trays as they skip merrily along.

NO - what you have is a very cranky, annoyed and pretty pissy Admin. Who can not fathom why her co-workers fingers are broken.  Or why their brain-pans are so small that they can not perform a function that a chimpanzee could master in minutes. (Oh, and the monkey would be bored)

It doesn't take any more time to put in a ream of paper than it does to to go back to your desk and print to another machine.

Do yourself and everyone else a favor - FILL THE PAPER TRAY.  It won't kill you, but the non-existent Paper Fairy might.

Chatter Much?

As an Admin, I’m all for communication, camaraderie, and corporate cohesion.  But when in a cubicle environment, over chatter is tantamount to TMI (too much information).

I’ve heard stories about children, pets, relationships,  and love lives that would curl your hair.  Apparently, people feel that the laws of acoustical physics do not apply in cubical land.  We all know that fabric and styrofoam are impervious sound barriers – NOT!

It’s hard to turn a deaf ear to complaining and moaning about their lot in life about how miserable their jobs are.  We all know that times are tough.

To quote a sign I recently saw, “IF YOU’RE UNHAPPY WHERE YOU ARE – MOVE!“

We all chatter amongst ourselves, it’s human nature.  It’s our jobs to make our environment uplifting an positive.  The negative chatter and mind sets only make things miserable, sowing seeds of destruction and strife.

If you can’t say something positive – please don’t say anything at all!