Experiments in Software

Like all companies, in these hard economic times, mine is on the look out for the best deal on anything.  Recently we started taking a hard look at our email delivery system.  We currently use a system that is so half-a#$$ed backwards that no reputable hacker would want to be known for hacking it.  I break the email system on a regular basis. I'm not doing anything special.  Just using it.  But then I am an Admin...
I'm on a first name basis with the third-tier tech support for this software.  In fact, when my name comes up I'm pretty sure the conversation goes like this:

Expert #1: OH NO! It's HER!  I'm not picking up the phone!

Expert #2: I took her call last time. It's YOUR turn!

(Picture me on hold, tapping my fingers on my desk!)

The argument continues, fisticuffs erupt. 

FINALLY! Someone picks up the line.

Expert #3:  (who had to break up the fight, answers breathlessly) Hello XXXX, how can we help you today?

But I digress.  We are currently in the beginning of a email pilot.  I and an intrepid group of Executive Admins have been carefully selected to push this system to its limits and beyond.  I've spent the last week in training.  I'm bleeding Blue, Red, Orange, Blue, Green, and Red.
The pilot hasn't even started AND, I've already broken the calendar.  The next thirty days are going to be fun!

The Evil Wizard of Work

Alas my loyal readers, I have been held captive by the evil Wizard of Work.
Having captured me one afternoon many moons ago, he held me hostage at my desk.  Where I arranged travel to distant lands, strategized the pilot of new software tortures, slogged through the mires of email and calendaring misery only to have to repeat it day after day.
Traveling to make merry, my task masters left for climes much fairer than my cubicle environment.
Who pray tell will rescue this maiden fair from the Evil Wizard of Work?
Oh!  That's right I forgot.  I was under a spell.  Not only do I slay dragons but I can bust through a spell in a heartbeat.
I'll rescue myself.

Top Ten Reasons I will NOT Own a Blackberry or ANY Device of Its Ilk

1. The keys are only useful for a Lilliputian.
   
2. The calendar sync is moody, unpredictable and spiteful
   
3. Emails get lost, only to show up hours, days, and weeks later.
   
4. Answering email while at the dinner table is just wrong.
   
5. People can NOT walk a straight line and text while using a Blackberry.
   
6. Blackberry users think we really don’t know they are on the golf course.
   
7. evryn frgts bsc englh & grmr sklz once hkd on the crkbry
   
8. A vibrating Blackberry on a desk sounds like a demented swarm of hornets.
   
9. People do NOT look more important with a crackberry or iAnnoyance stuck to their ear.
   
10. Using the Blackberry while on the toilet is not considered efficient or socially acceptable.